Rain

This is kind of like a missing scene from “The Dippy Blonde Affair” from the second season of The Man from UNCLE.

**

Illya stood in the pouring rain, frowning at Napoleon.  “Really?” he breathed.  Heaving a sigh, he shook his head as if to shake the water away.  He laughed to himself.  That wasn’t going to help!

He stalked over to the car and rapped on the window, startling the occupants.  Leaning down to peer in through the glass, he said, “Thanks for the rescue.”

Napoleon grimaced and slid away from the woman.  As Illya climbed inside, he said, “Hurt?”

“No,” Illya said.  “I’m fine.  Aren’t I always?”  He stifled a sneeze and then gave Napoleon a flat-eyed stare.  “Call it in?”

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Ripe

This little scene was inspired by “The Apple a Day Affair” in the third season of The Man from UNCLE – sort of my take on why Illya didn’t want to have a bite of that apple.

**

Illya watched Colonel Picks pluck the apple off the pile of produce.  He felt a tremor of fear that he fought to hide.  He didn’t want this man to know he was afraid.  After all, he was a top-notch UNCLE agent.  It was bad enough they’d captured him so easily.  It was bad enough they had him there, tied and virtually helpless.  He had a reputation to uphold.  He couldn’t show fear.

His eyes closed as Picks forced the bite of apple into his mouth.  It tasted sweet and, more importantly, it didn’t explode.  He restrained a sigh of relief.

Boat

This scene was inspired by “The Concrete Overcoat Affair” in the third season of The Man from UNCLE.

**

At first, Illya wasn’t sure what to expect when he was brought to see the defenses that Thrush had set up around the island.  Given his treatment so far, what made Strago think that he might care how the island was defended?

He frowned slightly as he peered into the telescope.  He saw the little speedboat racing towards the island.  Then, his blood ran cold.  It could only be one person manning those controls.  He tensed as the defenses were activated.  His heart plummeted as the boat exploded.  Could anyone could survive that?  He prayed that Napoleon’s infamous luck held.

Surprise

Continuing yesterday’s story…

**

Illya was sitting, rather dejectedly, on the bottom of the bubble.  Napoleon had tried everything to break him out.  Bullets had bounced off, nearly killing him.  A knife had glanced harmlessly off the side.  Finally, he had just taken Illya – inside the bubble – back to UNCLE headquarters.  The scientists there hadn’t had any better luck.

“I’ll starve to death in a bubble,” he said, miserably.

Napoleon heaved a sigh.  “Thrush must have had a way to burst it,” he argued.

“They’ve tried everything, but…” Illya trailed off.  “Harmonics?  Could it be that easy?”

“Sound shattered your glasses…”

“It might work.”

Bubble

This is a little story that I’ve started, told in drabbles (so far).  Thrush always seems to come up with insane traps and this just seemed like something they might do…

**

Thrush was an odd bunch.  Illya had decided that long ago.  Attacks with exploding milk, bread or apples were a clue to that.  This trap, however, took the cake!

He frowned at the barrier.  He pounded a fist against it, causing it to ring like a bell.  He pressed against it and the bubble rolled forward.  He tumbled head over heels, until the bubble came to rest in a corner of the room.

He looked up as Napoleon stepped into the room.  “Help?”

Napoleon blinked at him and then frowned.  Heaving a sigh, he asked, “How do I do that?”

Cricket

When I saw this prompt, I immediately thought of the character from “The Cherry Blossom Affair” on The Man from UNCLE.

**

Illya had to wonder about Mr. Waverly.  How was he able to scoop lovely young women away from Napoleon so easily?  What was it about his offer that had Cricket so interested that she’d forget his friend?  Perhaps she thought she could come and work for UNCLE.  They did make movies in the Propaganda section, didn’t they?

He offered to hear Napoleon’s story, mostly to get a rise out of his friend.  Then, he moved to his feet.  “He’s a married man and he flirts as badly as you,” he said, blandly.

“But… Cricket,” Napoleon said, sadly.

Illya just shrugged.

Autumn

Just a random little drabble about the changing seasons, from Illya’s point of view.

**

Illya made his way slowly through the park.  He smiled as the wind ruffled through his hair.  It shook leaves from the trees to scatter them on the pavement.  Some swirled around, passing his feet as he walked.

He knew that some people didn’t like the end of summer.  However, he saw it coming with eager anticipation.  He already needed a light coat in the mornings and evenings.  The leaves were turning from green to gold and red.  He knew what that meant and he couldn’t help but smile.

After the leaves had fallen, there would be snow as well.

Boot

I had to post this… it’s a follow-up to yesterday’s apple.  Again, it’s a drabble featuring the characters from The Man From UNCLE.

**

“It’s in the boot,” Illya said, his voice soft.

Napoleon frowned at him.  “What boot?” he asked, shaking his head.

Illya turned to his partner with a scowl.  “Is this because of the apple thing, Napoleon?” he asked, his voice faint.  “I wasn’t myself then!  I’d lost blood!  I explained that!”

Napoleon shook his head briskly.  “No, no, no,” he said.  “I’m honestly confused by what boot you mean.”

“The car boot?”

For a moment, Napoleon just frowned at him.  When Illya pointed towards the back of the car, his eyes widened.  “Oh, you mean the trunk!”

“Yes, the trunk.”

Apple

My drabble for today… I have to confess, I had a lot of fun with it.  I’ve seen (some on the show, some in other fanfic) Illya act confused about idioms, but I think he’s probably just yanking Napoleon’s chain most of the time.

**

“All right,” Illya said, sitting in the grass.  “Usually, I just pretend to not understand the idioms you use.”

“I suspected as much,” Napoleon admitted.

Shrugging with one shoulder, Illya said, “This time, I’ll confess… I’m genuinely confused.”  When Napoleon nodded, he shook his head.  “What apples?”

Chuckling, Napoleon said, “It’s a figure of speech.”

“I know that!”

“I was taunting them,” Napoleon said, shrugging.  “We can’t even walk out of here, but we destroyed their base and sent them running for the hills!”

“How do you like those apples?”

“Exactly!”

Illya shook his head.  “What apples?”

“I was gloating!”

Money

This is a little drabble that was inspired by what happened in “The It’s All Greek to Me Affair” on The Man from UNCLE.

**

Illya could hardly believe that he had actually been forced to call Mr. Waverly.  As if it weren’t bad enough that he’d failed in his mission – that the code had been stolen.  As if he weren’t embarrassed to have gotten it back, only to lose it again.  Now, he was being held for ransom by a bandit!

Mr. Waverly didn’t seem the least bit interested in giving Stavros the money he was asking for.  It wasn’t such a large amount.  It was just that Illya should be able to escape.  Which might have been true… until Stavros had heard it.

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