I Dreamed a Dream

Here is another story that I wrote using the NaNoWriYe DreamWidth.  Felicja is thinking about her relationship with her children.  This is set right before my recent Camp NaNo

Prompt: Too Much

Felicja waved until the train was long out of sight. A part of her was angry. It wasn’t fair that she had to send her children away like this. Every time the Agency called her, she had to drop everything to answer that call. However, Henryk and Zofia were the most important thing in her life. By rights, they should come first.

She heaved a sigh as she turned away and headed off to meet Timothy. She knew exactly what had put her in this position: their father. They’d met when she was young – far too young to understand the implications of what was happening between them. At the time, she never would have imagined having children with him.

Things had progressed, with him leading the way. She felt that it must have been love, so she’d given him what he wanted. Then, when she’d learned that she was pregnant, he left her. Felicja shook her head and forcibly pushed the tender affection she could feel rising for the man away. He’d left her and his children and Felicja had been forced to find a way to support a small family alone.

It had almost been too much. There were times when she’d considered giving up. The last time she’d been called up on a mission, she’d sent the children away on a holiday. She’d been sorely tempted to leave them, the way their father had. Then, the guilt had been too much. She couldn’t be that person. Henryk and Zofia needed her.

Sighing, Felicja realized that she needed them too. Zofia brought light into her world. She was so cheerful, so irrepressible that Felicja felt like she could do anything. Henryk was so smart that she knew, with the right chances, he could be anything he wanted. The idea that she had brought these two little people into the world filled her with joy. She needed them and they needed her.

“Hey,” a familiar voice called.

Felicja looked up and smiled. Wiping moisture from her eyes, she said, “Hey, Timmy. You ready to go?”

Nodding, Timothy waited while she got into the car. Then, he settled into the driver’s seat. “Are you all right?” he asked, as he turned the key in the ignition. His brows furrowed. “You look like you were crying.”

“Sometimes,” Felicja murmured, “this all gets to be a bit too much.” She didn’t know how Gilbert could have left his little ones for seven years. She was torn up by just leaving them for a few months.

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