A Little Death

The prompt for today’s story, “If” came from the NaNoWriYe DreamWidth.  At this point, I’m completely caught up, so I’m answering the prompts as they come out.  The title for this story came from a quote that I found on the internet.

“Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.”

Arthur Schopenhauer

**

Taurys stood in the corridor and watched Milda sleep.  She looked so peaceful, snuggled under her blankets and hugging her favorite doll close.  There were times when he wondered if he’d made the right decision in staying alive the way he had.  Gilbert had offered to let him go when they’d defeated RX-9.  However, he wondered: what would have happened?

He would have gone to sleep, that much he knew.  Gilbert would have waited until he was asleep and then disconnected the circuit that connected his brain to the artificial body.  He would have died.  Unlike his first death, it would have been completely painless.  He would have gone on to heaven, the way he should have from the start.  There would have been nothing to keep him in that world anymore.

It would have been so easy to make that decision.  If he had, though… What would have happened to Daina and Milda?  If he was gone, Daina – his wife – would have remained under Ivan’s power.  Milda – his little girl – would have become a ward of the state.

He shook his head slightly.  He’d made the right choice in remaining with the program.  It had opened so many doors.  Daina and Milda were there now, safe from Ivan’s dark plans.  Ilya and Valdis wouldn’t have joined the program if he hadn’t been there.  They would have remained trapped for… how long?  Would it have been forever?

Ilya had said that Valdis was nearly unrecognizable to him, until Madeline had called them.  His anger and hurt at Ivan’s betrayal was changing his spirit.  He was becoming dark – a creature of evil.

The more he thought it over, the more certain Taurys was that he’d done the right thing.  However, he was also afraid.  Every time he closed his eyes to sleep now, he worried.  What if he never woke?  What if the new body – artificial as it was – wasn’t as stable as Gilbert thought it was?  Each night, he felt as though sleeping was a little like death.

“Taurys?”  He turned to find Daina standing in the corridor.  She crossed her arms over her chest.  “Come to bed, dear.”

“Do I… sleep the way I used to?” he whispered as he followed her back to their room.  “Am I… completely still or do I move in my sleep?”  He knew Daina moved in her sleep, but he wasn’t sure whether he did or not.

Daina stifled a laugh.  “You move more now that you ever did, Husband,” she said.  She leaned in, catching his hand in hers.  “I used to lie beside you and watch closely – straining to see each breath.  Now, you murmur in your sleep and shift, rolling from one side to the other.  Often, you will curl against me, as if seeking warmth.”

Taurys smiled at her, tilting his head to one side.  “Really?”  She nodded and he kissed her cheek.  “I love you, Daina.”

“I love you too,” Daina said.  Then, she drew him to the bed.  They curled against each other and Taurys found comfort in having her so near.  He closed his eyes and slept.  His dreams were filled with swirling lights and colors, but he seldom remembered those.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: