Puzzle it Out

A little scene wherein Johannes muses on the crazy nicknames Varric gives people.  Varric belongs to Dragon Age: Inquisition.  Johannes and his siblings are my own characters.  This is sort of an alternate universe-crossover of the two groups.  This scene was inspired by a phrase prompt from the WriYe DreamWidth.

**

Johannes found it interesting that Master Varric seemed so opposed to using people’s proper names.  He called them Birdie, Bean, Chicky, Pokey and Goldie, rather than Gilbert, Markus, Liesel, Frieda and Johannes.  He called Master Dorian by the name “Sparkler” while the Iron Bull was called “Tiny.”

Sometimes, the names were straightforward.  Dorian’s name came from the shiny bits of metal all over his clothing.  Frieda used her pike to stab the demons they fought.  Johannes had golden hair and a golden voice and… his magic made demons vanish in a shower of golden light.  With so much gold, what else would Master Varric call him?

Sometimes, the names were meant in a sort of tongue-in-cheek or teasing manner.  He called the Iron Bull “Tiny” in the same way that Robin Hood’s companion was “Little John.”  He was just so big that calling him by such a name amused Master Varric.

Other names hinted at something less obvious.  Like the way he called all the female elves by flower names.  Liesel’s nickname came from her occasional attempts to fly.  He was subtly reminding her that she wasn’t a full grown bird yet.  She was just a chick and chicks couldn’t fly.

Gilbert’s nickname came from the fact that he could call birds right out of the trees.  None of them quite knew how he even did that.  Johannes wasn’t altogether certain his brother knew how he did it.  Then… there was Markus’s nickname.

“Bean?” Johannes said, looking at his elder brother.  He shook his head.  “Why does Master Varric call you that, Markus?”

Markus heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes.  He ruffled a hand through his hair.  “After he was hurt, I ran and got his journal for him,” he said, shrugging.  “He thanked me and I said he could call me a helpful elf.”

“Like in the story with the shoemaker,” Johannes said, grinning.

Nodding, Markus said, “He told me… ‘You’re not an elf.  You’re a human being.”  He shrugged.  “After that, he started calling me ‘Bean’.”  He flushed when Johannes began laughing.  “It’s not funny.”

“It really is,” Johannes countered.

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