Apple

My drabble for today… I have to confess, I had a lot of fun with it.  I’ve seen (some on the show, some in other fanfic) Illya act confused about idioms, but I think he’s probably just yanking Napoleon’s chain most of the time.

**

“All right,” Illya said, sitting in the grass.  “Usually, I just pretend to not understand the idioms you use.”

“I suspected as much,” Napoleon admitted.

Shrugging with one shoulder, Illya said, “This time, I’ll confess… I’m genuinely confused.”  When Napoleon nodded, he shook his head.  “What apples?”

Chuckling, Napoleon said, “It’s a figure of speech.”

“I know that!”

“I was taunting them,” Napoleon said, shrugging.  “We can’t even walk out of here, but we destroyed their base and sent them running for the hills!”

“How do you like those apples?”

“Exactly!”

Illya shook his head.  “What apples?”

“I was gloating!”

Money

This is a little drabble that was inspired by what happened in “The It’s All Greek to Me Affair” on The Man from UNCLE.

**

Illya could hardly believe that he had actually been forced to call Mr. Waverly.  As if it weren’t bad enough that he’d failed in his mission – that the code had been stolen.  As if he weren’t embarrassed to have gotten it back, only to lose it again.  Now, he was being held for ransom by a bandit!

Mr. Waverly didn’t seem the least bit interested in giving Stavros the money he was asking for.  It wasn’t such a large amount.  It was just that Illya should be able to escape.  Which might have been true… until Stavros had heard it.

Knight

This drabble was inspired by an episode of The Man from UNCLE, “The Round Table Affair.”  I couldn’t imagine it being all that often the boys got to see knights in armor fighting…

**

“Did you honestly expect him to win?”

“I hoped he would,” Napoleon said.  He frowned at Illya.  “The way you’re asking that… I’m guessing that you didn’t think he would.”

Illya heaved a sigh, shaking his head.  “I was confident that we could make certain it was a fair fight,” he said.  Grimacing, he added, “Still, I wasn’t so sure that he’d be able to fight well enough to best his opponent.”

“Neither of them really knew what they were doing,” Napoleon pointed out.  He shrugged.  “Mr. King had an excellent reason to succeed.  Maybe that made a difference.”

“Maybe.”

Light

This drabble is sort of a missing scene from “The Thor Affair” of The Man from UNCLE.

**

Illya’s head hurt.  As if being captured by amateurs wasn’t bad enough.  They’d been strung up by their ankles.

He had to wonder why Thor hadn’t killed them.  After all, they knew what Thor was planning and what he’d already done: the earlier assassination attempt and the good doctor’s untimely death.  They knew these things.  Thor could hardly release them, even if he succeeded.  So then, what was he planning?

“The sun’s coming up,” Napoleon murmured.  “It’ll be light pretty soon.”

Illya heaved a sigh.  Thor’s plans for them didn’t matter.  Not when they knew what he was planning for Nadi.

Flower

Another drabble for The Man from UNCLE, this one was inspired by the third season episode, “The Super-Colossal Affair” and is set… probably just a bit after it.  There are brief mentions of other episodes.

**

Illya never knew what sort of crazy nickname Napoleon would come up with for him.  Sometimes, it was based on something Illya had said, like, when he’d come up with “Filthy” as an epithet.  Other times, it was situational, as it had been with “Pussycat”.

However, calling Illya his “little flower” was unexpected, even given that track record.  It wasn’t until after he’d finally been released that he learned where Napoleon had come up with the name.

The next day, Illya stepped into the office.  “In Bambi, the skunk… is Flower,” he said.  “That’s actually clever.”

Smirking, Napoleon just shrugged.

Shatter

Another The Man From UNCLE drabble.  This one is sort of a scene from “The Birds and the Bees Affair” – not a missing scene, but what Illya might have been thinking at one point.

**

Illya turned his head away from the device in an effort to shield himself from the sound.  It did no good.  Neither did telling himself that it was all going according to plan.  He tried to focus on withstanding the torture.  Giving in too soon would be suspicious, after all.

His glasses shattered with the sound and he shook them away.  He felt Tavia’s fingers brush his as they reached for the button.  She’d had all she could take and, after all, he didn’t want her hurt.  Gritting his teeth, he hit the button.  At last, the sound died away.

Coin

Another little Man from UNCLE drabble, this time based on an incident in “The Very Important Zombie Affair”.

**

Illya had frowned slightly when the girl pointed out that the coin was two-headed.  At the time, there had been other, more important, things to worry about.  Now, though, was a different story.  Now, they were home again, writing their reports about the mission.

“Calling it in the air,” Napoleon said, holding up a coin.  “Loser buys dinner.”

“Heads,” Illya said, as Napoleon flipped the coin.  Normally, he’d call tails.  He smirked when Napoleon scowled slightly.  He was chuckling before Napoleon had even looked at the outcome.  “Honestly, Napoleon,” he said.

“Yeah, you win,” Napoleon said, tucking the coin away.

Punch

Another little The Man From UNCLE drabble.  This one is inspired by the first season episode, “The Deadly Games Affair”.

**

Illya sipped the punch and smiled.  It was cool and refreshing.  In short: just what he needed.  A moment later, however, the scent of a familiar perfume left a sour taste in his mouth.  Even before the woman hugged him, he scowled.

“Illya, darling,” Angelique said, as she stepped back to smirk at him.  “What brings my favorite little Russian to the auction house?”

Rather than answer her directly, he asked, “Shall I assume you’re here for the same thing as us?”

“Us?  Is Napoleon here, then?”

“He will be,” Illya replied.  He glared as she walked away from him.

Vault

This is a little drabble (prompt is title) that was inspired by the first season episode of The Man from UNCLE, “The Fiddlesticks Affair.”

**

Illya bit the inside of his lip as they crept towards their target.  He was beyond frustrated.  Each time, one of them made some small blunder and they would fail.  What was the point?  They didn’t even know for certain what the setup would be?

He released a sigh when the lights flicked on.  The advisory agent pretended to shoot Napoleon and then him.  Illya suppressed the urge to glare.  This was nothing like a real mission.  How would the man react if Illya had reacted the way he would in real life?  He smiled at the thought.  Dead, indeed.